My Only Back Up Plan is To Fall On My Own Arms
My Only Back Up Plan is To Fall On My Own Arms / Единственият ми “план Б” в живота е да падна в собствените си ръце
Part of No Time For Losers series of drawings, object, photography and paintings (2019-)
pencil, acrylic and charcoal on 250lb Fabriano paper, Anton Terziev, 2023
Size: 50 x 70 cm
Courtesy the artist
Title credit: Svetoslav Todorov - writer, editor, correspondent. Collaborating since 2019
Anton Terziev’s “My Only Back Up Plan is To Fall On My Own Arms” stands as a striking exploration of the intersections between gender, power, and identity, embodied through the pencil drawing of UFC fighter Cristiana ‘Cyborg’ Santos. Terziev’s work does not merely capture the physicality of a fighter in action; it delves deeply into the social constructs of masculinity and femininity, pushing boundaries while offering a critique laden with sharp irony.
At first glance, the piece is a dynamic portrayal of the muscular fighter, her biceps flexed in an expression of formidable strength. Yet, Terziev’s decision to depict Cyborg with two heads—conjoined in a dual form—infuses the piece with profound layers of meaning, suggesting the internal dualities that define the character of a fighter who navigates both the traditionally masculine world of combat sports and the expectations imposed upon her as a woman. In this doubled form, Cyborg becomes an emblem of both physical strength and the psychological strain that accompanies the negotiation of gender norms in a highly competitive, often patriarchal arena.
The title, “My Only Back Up Plan is To Fall On My Own Arms,” resonates powerfully within this context. It reflects an indomitable individualism—an implicit rejection of external support or validation, where survival hinges solely on one’s self-reliance. The phrase itself functions as an ironic commentary on the cultural expectations of women in combat sports, where the capacity for independent strength and resilience is often both celebrated and undermined by societal perceptions of femininity. Cyborg’s massive physical presence, contrasted with the fine, detailed pencil strokes, exudes both vulnerability and unyielding determination, highlighting the tension between the strength she projects and the fragility of her position within a male-dominated space.
The use of pencil as the primary medium contributes to the irony in Terziev’s commentary. The softness of the pencil contrasts sharply with the hard, muscular forms it depicts, serving as a subtle subversion of the expectations surrounding female athletes. In a world that demands female fighters perform with hyper-masculine traits—strength, aggression, dominance—the delicate pencil lines, which can easily smudge and fade, serve as a reminder that these women, despite their outward strength, are still subject to the fragility of gender-based judgments.
The background of the artwork, likely inspired by a UFC match setting, reinforces the brutal, unyielding world that these fighters inhabit. The faint, abstracted text that reads “MELT” at the bottom of the image introduces an ironic juxtaposition. The fighter, seemingly immovable, has no recourse but to "melt" or soften into the backdrop of political forces that demand conformity to ideals of beauty, strength, and masculinity. Terziev’s vision here is sharp: he critiques how femininity, as embodied by a female athlete, is continuously evaluated and redefined in a way that contrasts with the traditional heroic masculinity seen in male fighters.
Perhaps the most profound aspect of this piece lies in its political implications. Through Cyborg’s massive physique, Terziev touches on the often-overlooked feminist perspective in sports. The drawing challenges the assumption that women in physical combat sports must, or should, adopt traditionally masculine forms of strength to be taken seriously. Yet the irony is not lost—the very need to perform within masculine frameworks for legitimacy reveals the true political tension. Women like Cyborg, who embody a more fluid, transgressive masculinity, push against these rigid structures, subtly reimagining how power can be understood and exercised.
Anton Terziev’s “My Only Back Up Plan is To Fall On My Own Arms” transcends its immediate representation of a fighter in action. It becomes a profound meditation on the political and social implications of gender, strength, and self-reliance. Terziev's masterful use of pencil techniques and the duality of his subject matter provide a sharp, ironic lens through which to view the intersection of feminism and masculinity. The work offers not just a portrait of a fighter but a visionary statement on the struggles that women face when asserting power in traditionally male spaces.
Photomaterial used: UFC Female Fighter Christiana ‘Cyborg’ Santos. Cris “Cyborg” won the first ever Strikeforce women’s featherweight championship in convincing fashion back in 2009. She makes her long-awaited UFC debut at UFC 198 in Curitiba, Brazil on May 14