I Cаn't Look At My Reflection It Reflects The Future

 

I Cаn't Look At My Reflection, It Reflects The Future/ Не мога да гледам отражението си, то отразява бъдещето - Schmincke oils on canvas. Size: 130 х 100 сm, Anton Terziev, 2021
Photo: © the artist. Courtesy the artist

Title credit: Светослав Тодоров - journalist, editor and writer
Fotomaterial used: 007 Sean Connery Skull Portrait By Joedunnz

ICLAMRIRTF drawings 1, 2

Unexhibited so far


Anton Terziev’s self-portrait, titled *I Cаn’t Look At My Reflection, It Reflects The Future*, merges the traditional *memento mori* motif with a contemporary sensibility, resulting in a haunting yet captivating work of art. Executed in oil, the painting displays a meticulous layering of pigment that underscores themes of impermanence, identity, and existential unease—concepts deeply rooted in Western art history’s ongoing conversation about life and death.
 
Terziev’s painting stands firmly within the long lineage of *memento mori* artworks—Latin for “remember you must die.” This genre, prevalent in Medieval and Baroque Europe, was designed to remind viewers of mortality and the transient nature of earthly existence. In Terziev’s interpretation, the *memento mori* element is signaled through the superimposed skull, a visual nod to the classical skull symbolism in vanitas still lifes and portraiture.

Self-portraits historically function as both expressions of personal identity and meditations on the artist’s role in society. Here, the act of self-representation is inseparable from the symbolism of the skull, suggesting a dual identity: one rooted in the tangible present (the artist’s living face) and the other pointing toward the inevitability of human decay (the exposed skull).

Terziev’s composition seamlessly integrates the living visage with the skull. The painting’s surface suggests vigorous, textural brushwork—visible striations and directional strokes that build an almost sculptural quality. This technique heightens the sense of tension between the face and its macabre overlay, reflecting the psychological and physical layers of human existence.

Dominated by deep reds, purples, and bruised pinks, the color choices imbue the work with an otherworldly aura. Red often symbolizes both vitality and violence—life and the fragility that can suddenly extinguish it. The interplay of purples and darker hues conjures an atmosphere of dusk, a liminal time suggestive of transition and reflection.

Subtle highlights across the brow ridge and cheekbones create a chiaroscuro effect, referencing the dramatic light/dark contrasts used by Baroque masters like Caravaggio. However, Terziev’s approach feels more contemporary and expressive, favoring emotional resonance over strict realism. This tension between classical technique and modern expression intensifies the painting’s psychological presence.

The title, *I Cаn’t Look At My Reflection, It Reflects The Future*, offers a philosophical riddle. Traditionally, a mirror is a symbol of self-awareness and vanity; here, it becomes a conduit to contemplate mortality. By refusing to look at one’s reflection, the subject metaphorically denies confronting the inescapable reality of aging and death, even as the image insists on it.

While overtly personal—being a self-portrait—the painting’s imagery reaches beyond individual biography. The half-skeletal face reminds viewers that everyone grapples with the passage of time, the erosion of youth, and the unpredictability of the future. Thus, Terziev’s self-examination also becomes a universal meditation on life’s fragility.

The bold, almost raw application of color and line suggests affinities with Expressionist movements of the early 20th century, such as those pioneered by Egon Schiele or Francis Bacon’s psychologically charged portraits. Terziev’s painting, like theirs, seeks to expose the inner workings of the psyche rather than to present a purely naturalistic representation.

In contemporary art, memento mori works often intersect with postmodern questioning of identity. Terziev’s self-portrait resonates with these explorations, positioning the body (and especially the face) as a site where existential anxieties manifest. His focus on the skull, painted in an almost surgical clarity, also recalls the medical imagery sometimes employed by modern and contemporary artists to explore corporeality and mortality.

The painting’s visceral impact stems from its fusion of two realities: the immediate present (the living face) and the stark inevitability of death (the skull). The technique of partial superimposition—where the skull and face seem to bleed into one another—amplifies the work’s unsettling power, inviting a prolonged and introspective gaze.

By invoking the viewer’s own sense of self-awareness, *I Cаn’t Look At My Reflection, It Reflects The Future* serves as a contemporary *memento mori*, prompting reflection on our shared fate. It extends beyond personal confession to a broader statement about the human condition, forging a connection that transcends time and place.

Anton Terziev’s *I Cаn’t Look At My Reflection, It Reflects The Future* is a compelling continuation of a centuries-old artistic tradition that addresses life’s temporality and the inescapable presence of death. Through expressive brushwork, a brooding color palette, and a dramatic juxtaposition of flesh and bone, Terziev reimagines the *memento mori* for our age—merging personal introspection with a universal reminder of life’s fragility. It is a painting that demands engagement, daring viewers to confront the ultimate unknown that lies within and ahead of us all.