I See Myself As What I Always Wanted To Be
I See Myself As What I Always Wanted To Be / Виждам се такава каквато винаги съм искала да бъда
Schmincke oils on canvas. Size: 140 x 195 cm, 2021
Photo: © the artist
Courtesy the artist
Featured in
(Foto material used: Getty image of Team Russia bite their gold medals in the victory ceremony after the group all-around rhythmic gymnastics final at Wembley Arena during the London 2012. Anastasia Bliznyuk, Uliana Donskova, Alina Makarenko, Ksenia Dudkin, Karolina Sevastyanova, Anastasia Nazarenko)
"When we trained, we were just like robots behind bars." Karolina Sevastyanova
After the 2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine, the International Gymnastics Federation (FIG) barred Russian athletes and officials, including judges. It also announced that "all FIG World Cup and World Challenge Cup events planned to take place in Russia ... are cancelled, and no other FIG events will be allocated to Russia ... until further notice." FIG also banned the Russian flag at its events.European Gymnastics announced in March 2022 that no athletes, officials, and judges from the Russian Gymnastics Federation and the Belarus Gymnastics Association can participate in any European Gymnastics events, that no European Gymnastics authorities from Russia and Belarus can pursue their functions, and that European Gymnastics had removed from its calendar all events allocated to Russia and Belarus and would not allocate any future events to Russia or Belarus.
From No Time For Losers seriеs (2019-)
Title credit: Svetoslav Todorov - journalist, editor and writer
Collaborating since 2019
Използвам добре познатия, задължително улавян от спортните фотографи момент на триумф. Стоп-кадър, в който разглеждам ролевите взаимоотношения в оста награда-награден –награждаващ, колко тъмна е другата страна на медалът. Интересува ме още какво и кой конструира съдържанието на това понятие успех, като символ и метафора и какъв е неговият срок на годност.
In the series No Time for Losers I examine just that – what it takes from you, what and whom you pay, who constructs the content of success as a symbol and metaphor, what is its shelf life? I do it through the well-known moment of triumph, mandatory for sport photographers. A freeze-frame, in which I comment on the role interrelations between the award, the awardee and the award presenter.
I hit the brakes on the rat race for quick, immediate, instagrammable success. This concept is like a tomb. A remarkable pantheon, which you furnish meticulously with awards, trophies in your CV and what not, to the last day of your life.
Whoever wants to be a „relevant participant in the processes“ knows that things like vulnerability, exposedness and sensitivity smell of failure, they don’t make you competitive on the market. Like in sports, whose direct aesthetics I borrow for my series.
From an early age, you have to run in the right lane or track. Lest you compete on top level but outside of the field, or even worse – out of the range of the cameras reporting the game from the pitch.
I See Myself As What I Always Wanted To Be / Виждам се такава каквато винаги съм искала да бъда - detail
From No Time For Losers seria Photo: © the artist
Серията No Time For Losers на Антон Терзиев изследва психологическите, социални и попкултурни измерения на успеха през картини, които пресъздават паметни моменти в кариерите на спортисти от различни дисциплини.
В работите отношенията между публика и звезда взимат токсични завои, мракът се прокрадва в моментите на неописуема радост, черният хумор се смесва с драматичността, дивата анималистичност се появява там, където обикновено виждаме майсторски двубой, отдадено партньорство или саможертва в името на по-голяма цял.
No Time For Losers предлага алтернативен поглед към бързата популярност, феноменът на бързото изстрелване и внимание през последните няколко десетилетия, менталните травми, които настъпват в моментите, когато триумфът би трябвало да е безоблачен.
Светослав Тодоров - писател, журналист, кореспондент
I See Myself As What I Always Wanted To Be - detail
From No Time For Losers seria Photo: © the artist
Featured in
I See Myself As What I Always Wanted To Be - detail
From No Time For Losers seria Photo: © the artist
Featured in
I See Myself As What I Always Wanted To Be - detail. Photo: © the artist
foto: Antonio Georgiev-Hadjihristov
Anton Terziev’s *I See Myself As What I Always Wanted To Be* (part of his **No Time for Losers** series) deftly merges portraiture, political critique, and pop-cultural spectacle. At first glance, the painting depicts well-known Russian rhythmic gymnasts celebrating victory—each biting a gold medal. But as one studies the composition further, the celebratory image morphs into a darker commentary on power, exploitation, and the complexities of contemporary Russian identity.
The central figures, in their vividly patterned athletic uniforms, occupy the upper portion of the canvas. They pose triumphantly, gazing toward the viewer with medals in their mouths—a familiar gesture in sports photography. Yet Terziev introduces a visually arresting twist: the athletes are mirrored or reflected in a distorted manner at the bottom of the canvas. This “diabolical” doubling creates a disorienting effect, as though we are seeing a celebratory image refracted through a darker, more ominous lens.
This compositional device echoes a long tradition in art history where the mirror or reflection reveals hidden truths about the subject. From Renaissance portraiture to Surrealist experimentation, the notion of the “other side” of an image has served as a metaphor for psychological depth, suppressed realities, or moral duplicity. Terziev’s reflection underscores the dissonance between the glitzy, triumphant façade of high-level sports achievement and the realities of political manipulation or personal sacrifice beneath the surface.
Terziev’s painting style here is marked by bold, saturated colors. The luminous background of circular lights recalls the spectacle of a televised sporting event—glamorous, relentless, and sometimes oppressive. This luminous matrix not only accentuates the athletes in the foreground but also heightens the surreal atmosphere of the mirrored lower half.
The artist’s use of strong outlines and carefully rendered details in the athletes’ uniforms emphasizes both their individuality and the collective identity they represent (the insignia of their home country, for instance). Meanwhile, the reflected figures appear slightly more abstract, almost dissolving into a shadowy red-and-blue haze, hinting at something sinister lurking behind the triumphant moment.
Terziev captures the uneasy balance between the athletes’ celebrated status and the harsh training, discipline, and sacrifices demanded by elite-level competition. Their fierce determination and radiant medals suggest success; yet, the painting’s mirroring hints at a price paid—physically, mentally, and emotionally. This notion aligns with broader criticisms of how sports, especially in certain nations, can become instruments of political display, exploiting the bodies and ambitions of athletes for the sake of national prestige.
The work overtly references the Russian political system, characterized here by post-imperial ambition and an aggressive posture on the world stage. The image of champions biting into gold medals—long a signifier of triumph—turns ominous when viewed through the lens of political propaganda. The painting suggests that these victories, while genuinely athletic achievements, also serve as emblems of a state’s desire to project dominance. By mirroring the figures “diabolically,” Terziev makes visible the underbelly of such spectacles: a system that may be feasting on its own mythologies.
The “morbidly aggressive mindset” Terziev alludes to can be traced to centuries of Russian imperial expansion and the modern-day echoes of that legacy. Art historically, grandiose portrayals of victory, from Napoleonic-era battle paintings to Soviet propaganda posters, have been used to craft a potent narrative of national power. Terziev’s painting dialogues with this tradition, subverting it by showing the literal and metaphorical “reflection” of such narratives—a reflection that is warped, possibly signifying the moral ambiguities beneath grand state spectacles.
Terziev’s aesthetic nods to Pop Art’s fascination with celebrity images and media saturation—recalling Andy Warhol’s repeated images of famous figures—while infusing them with the critical bite of Social Realism’s socio-political messaging. The repeated figures, the bold logos, and the bright, stage-like lighting all place the painting within a contemporary idiom that balances between celebration and critique.
Furthermore, the notion of “No Time for Losers” suggests a breakneck pace of achievement and success-driven culture. One can find parallels in the works of artists who have critiqued the commodification of the human body in sports or entertainment. By focusing on rhythmic gymnasts—renowned for the elegance and difficulty of their sport—Terziev underscores how aesthetic beauty can mask a system that exacts an extreme toll on individuals, all while serving a larger political narrative.
In *I See Myself As What I Always Wanted To Be*, Anton Terziev wields the visual vocabulary of sports spectacle—victory poses, gold medals, bright lights—to expose a layered commentary on personal sacrifice, nationalistic triumphalism, and political exploitation. The mirrored imagery serves as a potent symbol of how public celebrations can hide private tolls and systemic manipulations. By evoking Russia’s political climate and the global stage of competitive sport, Terziev’s painting resonates far beyond its specific subject matter. It challenges viewers to consider the dualities of pride and exploitation, beauty and aggression, triumph and complicity—all of which converge in a moment of victory that, upon closer inspection, is not as straightforwardly jubilant as it seems.
Ultimately, the painting stands as both a striking visual statement and a deeply charged reflection on how political power, imperialistic legacies, and sporting culture can become entangled—sometimes to the detriment of the very people who achieve the glory on display.